Back that holds the spine, the spine that holds the body together. Where the spine goes, so does the mind? No, I’m strong, resilient and find this a good moment to pause, and reflect.
Been laid up, blew out my back from a usual minor event. This time it was picking up a small box of tea from a bag on the floor. Ga-zaam! down on the floor waiting for the pain to subside, laughing at the weirdness of laying there on the floor contorted. Then up, then down to a couch to wait out the pain and hope the recovery wouldn’t be too long. That was a week ago Friday. Guess I have lots to figure out, meditate on and hit the pause button on my crazy busy life underground.
This has been my story for years, why? From a structural perspective, I guess too many years of moving large backline and stage EQ thinking I’m so much taller and so much stronger than my 5’ 3” frame and 105 pounds. Performing and playing the guitar since I’m 12, which has developed one side more than the other hasn’t helped either. From an emotional spiritual one, I’m growing and need to learn how to listen, observe and be more mindful. We’re never too old to break deep patterns.
I have been doing years of stretching, yoga, tai chi, not obsessive, but consistent. All to hopefully end the moment when reaching for a sock, or a box of tea, Ka-Pow! My cousin Amy, a fantastic Physical Therapist has partnered with an amazing chiropractor Physical Therapist who has developed a wedge that sits under the lower spine, and with a series of exercises has strengthened my back more than anything else, and why I was so surprised to have found myself here again. Without it I’d truly be in bad shape, it has helped me keep my spine in line. Of course good sessions with my chiropractor and acupuncturist have also helped. I refuse to take pain medication it only makes me sick and doesn’t allow me to understand how I am feeling.
So last week I took it easy, and although I cancelled Thursday, Friday I went ahead and performed at Grand Central. It was not so fluid, but I was so happy to perform. Then a feeling of regret settled in, that I went back too soon. So Saturday, again I cancelled. I hate to cancel. The Music Under NY Permit, is scheduled weeks in advance, it’s a complex organizational system and canceling unfortunately usually means depriving someone else the chance of performing. Canceling on a Saturday, and a choice spot as I had at the Staten Island ferry terminal made me very frustrated and sad. It’s now Tuesday and I have only a few days to get back my body. I’m not so sure, so although I have a lot of dates posted, I fear canceling is in my future. But am content that I’ve had some time to reflect and prepare my ‘garden.’
Hey didn’t I mention it was Spring!